Friday, December 25, 2009

My Memories of Vic Chesnutt

By 1995, I found myself working the graveyard shift five nights a week at a 7-11 in Jamul, California. It had been a rough few years since I'd graduated high school--factories, homelessness, missing parents, etc. There was a store in El Cajon called Music Trader that offered 4 tapes for $10, and it's one of the places I spent whatever extra money I had at the end of the week. When I saw Vic Chesnutt's album "Little" in there one afternoon, I went ahead and picked it up. I think he has something to do with R.E.M.? Sure enough, Michael Stipe produced it. For $2.50, it seemed worth checking out.

I didn't take to it right away, but I kept playing it on the nights when I worked. It sounded pretty good around 3 in the morning, with the doors propped open as I swept the parking lot. After a few nights of this, the songs started to emerge. After a few weeks, I found that the songs reached parts of myself emotionally that very few things could in those days. And so I played it every night. At 3 in the morning. As I swept the parking lot.





It didn't make me feel better, necessarily. Or worse. Even listening to it right now, 15 years later, I still can't tell you much about it. With a few exceptions, the lyrics didn't relate a whole lot to anything in my experience. His writing seemed so personal that there wasn't much room left for me. I felt like a spectator. It was never one of my favorite albums, or even the album that touched me the deepest, it was just something I felt compelled to play every night for a year.

I guess maybe it just made me feel a little less alone.

A couple of years later, I was working at a golf resort in El Cajon. Vic Chesnutt had just released "Is the Actor Happy?", his major-label debut. I picked up a copy, and listened to it a few times, but for whatever reason it didn't really grab me.




In the fall of 1998, I headed to Boston to start college. I was 26, and was so intimidated by my new situation that I didn't speak to my new roommate for two days. It was only after we realized that we'd both been playing a lot of the same music that we found a way to start talking to each other. His favorite singer in the world was Vic Chesnutt. He talked about how he had never heard music with such raw emotion, such genuine unfiltered passion (he had, after all, just graduated from Tufts).

That spring Vic Chesnutt collaborated on an album with Lambchop. Once again I shrugged my shoulders and yawned. Except for this song. Which I listened to constantly.



The following year, the roommate--and by this point, one of my good friends--had moved to New York City. It so happened that the weekend a couple of us went down there to visit him coincided with a show at Maxwell's in Hoboken featuring Kristen Hersh and Vic Chesnutt. The entire way there, my friend kept saying how happy he would be if Vic played "Isadora Duncan". He was literally bouncing up and down in his seat as he talked about it. We arrived to a packed Maxwell's. Me, I was more excited about seeing Kristen Hersh for the first time (that first Throwing Muses album was also one of my 7-11 era faves).

Vic was due to go on first, but the packed room was making it difficult for him to reach the stage in his wheelchair. Eventually, he had to ask some people to lift him up and carry him to the stage, wheelchair and all. Once safely there, he told the group that he'd play their request as his first song. They chose "Isadora Duncan". My friend cried, smiling the entire time. The show was wonderful.

Kristen Hersh was one of the first people to announce that something had happened to Vic Chesnutt yesterday.

I didn't know Vic Chesnutt. I saw him out around town a few times, and though I was tempted to introduce myself, and maybe tell him some of my stories, I never did. I hadn't listened to his music in years, and if you had told me I could never listen to his music again, I wouldn't have cared. And yet here I am on this Christmas night, my friends having left and my girlfriend having gone to work, and I can't stop listening to an on-line version of that album, the one I found in a bargain bin 15 years ago. And I've spent the last half-hour on the verge of tears for someone I've never met.

See, at a time in my life when I very badly needed someone to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay, and I was several years away from anything like that ever happening, Vic Chesnutt's album "Little" was about as close as I could get. I didn't, and still don't, understand why. But maybe some things are more powerful if you can't find the words for them. I will always be grateful to him for what that album gave me. Even if I may have forgotten about it until last night.

I'm so sorry he died. And I'm even sorrier for the pain he must have been in while he was alive. Please, Athens, be good to one another. There's a lot of people around here in a lot of pain.

This was filmed earlier this year.



There's a few other drugs I'd like to add to this list. Depression is a real bitch to live with, and whatever benefits drugs, alcohol, etc. might bring you in the short term, they take a hell of a lot more away in the long term. Believe me.

Please R.I.P. Vic Chesnutt, you sweet sad beautiful man.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A Resonse To The Responders

First off, I’d like to thank everyone who took the time to write in. There’s been more interesting thoughts & ideas in the comments section of this blog than in the last year’s worth of Flagpoles. Secondly, I’d like to apologize for the typos. I figured I’d have time to check it before anyone got around to reading it. In the two years I’ve been haphazardly writing this blog (i.e. whenever I felt like taking the time to do it), I think it’s had about 100 hits. In the last 72 hours, that number has about doubled.

My personal belief is that anyone who takes the time to write something deserves a response (in the case of the two people who mocked one of the commenters for getting pregnant, I think the appropriate respsonse might be, “What the hell is wrong with you?”). And because people raised a lot of interesting ideas, they deserve to be addressed. And I’ve gone ahead and set up an e-mail account, athensmusicexpress@yahoo.com, in case anyone would rather contact me personally. Because, y’know, I felt some of you were holding back a little in your comments.

And let me put this disclaimer first, because it’s the most important thing I‘d want anyone to read. I recognize that all art is subjective, and that one person’s crap is another person’s treasure. By expressing my opinion, I am not looking to convert anyone to my way of thinking. I am just expressing my opinion. It does not bother me that people like her music. It does not even bother me that she makes music. Hell, I think everyone should make music, write poems, paint pictures, or however they choose to express themselves. I think it is healthy, beautiful, and wonderful that we as human beings are able to do that. I wrote this article because it seemed that everyone in this town had an opinion about Ms. Weiss, but that opinion rarely ventured any further than “I love her music. She is the best,” or “I hate her and I wish she’d leave town immediately”. I think neither one of those models puts a lot of thought into her music, and I thought she deserved better. Not more praise necessarily, just more thought. And I find the disconnect between her music and her marketing, the fact that one part is incredibly ambitious while the other seems relentlessly un-ambitious, to be really fascinating, and worth writing about.

To the responses.

We’ll start with the most polite person first. Yes, Karate Media, I would hold a male artist to the same standard. Take A.J. Weiss for example... (joke. i’m kidding). I’ve always found Lou Barlow’s lyrics pretty solipsistic as well. However, I do think his lyrics about relationships at least, on occasion, make a larger point about how power is taken & given in relationships. I could care less that Allison Weiss writes nothing but relationship songs. I’m just disappointed that she doesn’t seem to have a whole lot to say about relationships. Or that the lyrics themselves don’t contain a whole lot of imagery, poetry, turns-of-phrase, or beauty—y’know the thing that makes lyrics (for me at least, remember that disclaimer?) resonate.

And we’ll address the D.I.Y. section of my article. Looking back, I think I could have made my point a lot clearer and with a lot less vitriol. Sorry for that. I had just spent about 4 hours doing nothing but listening to her music on lala, reading her lyrics, and watching her videos. It felt like I had been made to eat nothing but twinkies for four hours while watching a marathon of Laguna Beach. I was a little cranky. Heading into this project, I told myself not to get personal, and I think I may have crossed the line a couple of times there. I apologize.

Here’s a more reasoned take on my issue with the D.I.Y. thing. The thing is, if promoting your act, booking your own shows, and putting out your own records makes you D.I.Y., then I think 98% of the musicians in this town qualify as D.I.Y. Now, I want to make this clear, I’m not saying that Allison Weiss is NOT D.I.Y. And I’m not trying to imply that someone’s music becomes less artistically valid the more support they receive. God knows, that class background has nothing to do with the quality of one's art. I just think that this D.I.Y. label is one that Weiss chose for herself, and while I find that her “D” part of that acronym exceeds anyone else’s in this town (or possibly this world), and she deserves to be commended for that, I don’t think her “Y” is anything special, and compared to a lot of other people, actually comes up a bit short. But as Karate Media pointed out, I may just have a different definition than a lot of other people do.

Also, I don’t think Weiss is shallow for not writing a song about domestic abuse. I just think that her lyrics, and for that matter her style/presentation etc., don’t seem to be informed by anything beyond her own first-hand experiences. I’m not asking for Dosotevsky here, but I don’t think asking for some sign of recognition, for ANY sign of recognition, that there is a world out there beyond her own set of experiences is too much to ask for. It’s not even that I think it would make the world a better place. I just think it might make her art more interesting (again, see that disclaimer at the beginning). See, even when I say that Allison Weiss’ music is solipsistic or shallow or whatever, I never think for one second that Allison Weiss herself is any of those things. Truth is, I don’t think anyone is those things. In my experience, people are endlessly fascinating and original if you get to know them, no matter who they are. I just wish Weiss would allow some of those parts of herself into her music, and by not putting those things in there she does a disservice to herself and ultimately to her art.

If I have one other regret about what I wrote, it’s that I didn’t do enough to praise Weiss’ songwriting ability. Regardless of how I feel about anything else, the girl knows how to craft a hook. My head still sings, “I’m ready if you’re ready,” whenever someone asks me if I’m ready. Taken purely from a pop/hook/melody perspective, Allison Weiss could teach a lot of the more respected artists in this town a thing or two about how to craft a song. I meant to put that in the article, and I can only use my crankiness as an excuse. Which is a pretty shitty excuse.

And lastly, I’d like to address the issue of my anonymity/identity. I prefer to remain anonymous because I don’t like giving people the easy option of dismissing ideas I write just based on who I am. I’d rather the ideas stand alone without my identity getting in the way of people reading it. You can see, just by mentioning my age & gender in the article, how quickly people resorted to the old, “Well you’re just old and male so who gives a fuck what you think”. Imagine the response if people knew whether or not I play in a band (you’re just jealous because Allison Weiss has more success than you) or what I do for a living (you’re just jealous because she has more success than you) or my personal life (you’re just jealous because she has more success than you). As it was, I still got labelled an underachiever, resentful of her privilege, out of touch with the internet, le fucking retarted, lame, etc.

If I do play in a band, I’d also like to remain anonymous because I’d hate for my bandmates to get saddled with whatever reputation this blog might create for me. I used to write about music when I was going to college in Boston, and turned down a job with Pitchfork when I graduated because I wanted to focus on writing poetry, novels, etc. I’ve had a couple of books published, and they’ve done well enough so I haven’t turned completely bitter. After finishing my latest book, I wanted to take some time off from writing books and starting this blog gave me a way to keep writing without the pressure/responsibility that comes with writing for publication. Plus, I’d been reading a lot of Paul Morley around that time and I found myself having a lot of thoughts and ideas about the music I was coming into contact with. That’s it.

I’m not jealous of Allison Weiss in any way shape or form, I just think she’s capable of making music that is funnier, angrier, and more beautiful than the music she has been making up to this point. And I would like nothing more than to see that happen in the future.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Allison Weiss and the Beiging of America

Meet Allison Weiss.



A force of nature, a triumph of self-promotion, the idea of D.I.Y. taken to its final priveleged extreme, Allison Weiss has certainly made a name for herself in Athens over the last few years. Few artists in this town inspire as much (public) hatred as Ms. Weiss.

Take this seemingly innocuous mention of her new album in Flagpole’s ‘Threats & Promises’ column, written & editorialized by Gordon Lamb.

Order Up: Allison Weiss is now taking orders for her newest album, Allison Weiss Was Right All Along, which is to be released Nov. 24. The four-tiered pre-order scheme starts at $10 for the album and a couple of bonus items up to $75 for the album, a t-shirt, poster, one-of-a-kind-drawing, limited-edition buttons and stickers and more. I have no doubt that there’s going to be more than one person out there in Internetland who'll buy in at the $75 level. This was originally planned to be an EP when Weiss began soliciting funds for a new recording, but she managed to raise so much that she fleshed it out into a full album. On a critical note, this is heads and tails above her previous work. Weiss is great with a full band, and her players, notably brother and guitarist A.J. Weiss, create a world of nuance behind her rather matter-of-fact lyricism. Speaking of which, if you’re the dude that broke her heart, you’re gonna feel like a real ass when this comes out. For more information, please see www.allisonweisswasrightallalong.com.

And here are some of the comments people have left below the article.

“It's almost like Allison wants everyone in Athens to think she's a giant tool.”
“Offering a bunch of shit for 75 bucks isn't exactly marketing, it's just stupid. For 75 bucks I'll give you a shitty CD and a personalized blow job. That's a much better deal.”
“Selling overpriced worthless junk for much more than it's worth is the American way. How do you think I made all my money?” – bill gates
“weiss is the lisa loeb of athens music.”
“bands can also have "ambition" without fucking insulting their fans by selling an album for 75 bucks.”


Now some of this is just standard local music scene behavior, the ‘anyone who gets successful is a jerk’ syndrome you find around town, but Ms. Weiss attracts a special resentment due, in large part, to her commitment to self-promotion and relentless marketing of her product—Allison Weiss.

The problem with criticizing Ms. Weiss for promoting her music, which is what most of these people do, is they tend to lose sight of the music. And her music is extremely interesting—and in it’s own way, extremely un-interesting—when compared to the way she markets herself.

Let’s look at that music? Is it as good as Gordon says it is? Well to me, his praise reads more like a series of backhanded compliments. He says, “better than her last album. . . somebody on the internet will buy it. . . ‘matter-of-fact’ lyricism. . . great with a band (my emphasis)” He certainly can’t think it’s ‘great,’ not coming from a writer who in his year-end summary last year described 2008 as “yet another year where the lions (sic) share of critical kudos went to completely safe, predictable and bland music. Absolutely nothing pictured below did anything to change or challenge the artistic paradigm in which they operated. Yes, that includes Lil Wayne.”

I understand that local paper protocol means Gordon couldn’t call Weiss’ new album “safe, predictable, and bland” even if he wanted to so let's cut the guy a break. I, however, don't work for a paper, but I am interested in digging a little deeper into her music since it's the one thing that nobody in town wants to talk about beyond a "like it/hate it" level.

As music her songs are harmless enough, sweet & catchy melodies presented in an accessible and straightfoward manner. Although, this too, could simply be the result of market research and Weiss’ ever-bending-backward attempt/desire to please her audience.

The lyrics are a lot more interesting. Every single one of her songs—and I have just read through all 45 of them on www.allisonw.com/lyrics (the “comprehensive Allison Weiss lyrics website")— addresses a “you,” presumably a boy, who is unwilling/unable to commit to a relationship as serious as the narrator would like. Perhaps this reluctance to sing about anything other than love is also just sound marketing. Gang of Four explained it better than I could.
Love crops up quite a lot as something to sing about,
cos most groups make most of their songs about falling in love
or how happy they are to be in love,
you occasionally wonder why these groups do sing about it all the time -
it's because these groups think there's something very special about it
either that or else it's because everybody else sings about it and always has,
you know to burst into song you have to be inspired
and nothing inspires quite like love.
These groups and singers think that they appeal to everyone
by singing about love because apparently everyone has or can love
or so they would have you believe anyway
but these groups seem to go along with what, the belief
that love is deep in everyone's personality.
I don't think we're saying there's anything wrong with love,
we just don't think that what goes on between two people
should be shrouded with mystery.
And as far as Gordon’s whole ‘dude-you’re-gonna-feel-like-an-ass when this record comes out’, the implied idea being that Allison Weiss is gonna tear that guy's ass up with her scathing lyrical putdowns, I have a feeling that the guy who breaks Joanna Newsom’s heart, or Lady GaGa’s heart, or even Miley Cyrus’ heart is more likely to “feel like a real ass”. As a writer, Weiss seems incapable of expressing any emotion crueller than disappointment. And anyway, she always saves her harshest criticism for herself.

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In a year when 13 people in the Athens area have already died as a result of domestic violence, when women at her university and in her local music scene are still forced to deal with issues like rape and abuse and coercion, Weiss’ take on relationships can charitably be described as naive. Let’s look at those lyrics.

From “Try To Understand” (not a Heart cover)

And I know I'll miss the bad jokes,
and the way you never called.

If this qualifies as scathing, then Gordon must also think that “He’s Just Not That Into You” is the embodiment of militant feminism. Elsewhere in the song, Weiss spends a hell of a lot more time blaming herself for the relationship’s failure and apologizing to the man for not being good enough.

On “Yer Going Down”—not about what you think it is, although that would be a feminist statement—she accuses an ex (were they ever in a relationship? Like fairy tales, Weiss’ insight into relationships never goes beyond the “courtship” phase) of being a “fading scar,” and a “liar”. Setting aside the fact that scars don’t actually fade—that’s what makes them scars—Weiss fails to specify whether or not his pants were on fire.

From “You + Me + Alcohol” (it equals exactly what you think it does, i.e. an awkward physical encounter facillitated by large quantities of “wine” and “liquor” told from the persepective of a narrator who “can’t remember the things we did”).

This bottle of liquor I left in my kitchen
Was finished the night I was finished with us
I kept it around, although it was empty
So empty like you.

And that’s it, in album’s worth of songs, I have just referenced every single negative thing she says about the guy who “broke her heart”. And what’s sadder, it would have taken me ten times longer to list all the negative things she says about herself. Anyone who mistakes Weiss’ self-promotion for self-confidence obviously isn’t looking very closely.

The thing that galls me about Weiss’ art isn’t her music. Or even her lyrics. Those things are meant to be appealing, in the sense that beige stores and strip-malls are appealing, or in the way that Chick-Fil-A provides good customer service. If a landlord painted their strip mall blue, or pink, or any tangible color, someone somwhere might not like it. And that would mean less money. Better to paint it beige. After all, nobody dislikes beige, right?

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And while there are plenty of people who find her music appealing, I’m afraid to say that I'm not one of them. At best, Weiss is a mediocrity. And the fact that there are people out there who like, or even love, her music doesn't make it any less mediocre. Although as a 37-year-old male who hates the color beige, I don’t think it was ever supposed to appeal to me. Wrong demographic.

And it isn’t her self-marketing that gets under my skin. I don’t like it, but if she’s willing to do it, more power to her. Granted, it reinforces the idea that we live in a world where people who lack self-confidence (or have enough self-confidence that they don’t feel so driven) might go unheard. Or, as Weiss herself put it in a recent interview, “Unfortunately, its about more than just writing great songs. You have to be organized and you have to be on top of things and you have to be putting yourself out there in the real world and online”. An idea like that is demoralizing to any artists who might lack good organizational skills and a desire to put themselves ‘out there’.

No, the problem I have with Allison Weiss and her art is the way she incessantly refers to herself as a D.I.Y. artist, which in case you don’t know stands for Do It Yourself. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure she wrote the songs by herself. And she has certainly promoted her career by herself. But it seems a little disingenuous for somebody who has been a full-time student for the duration of their music career, who hasn’t had to work a job while she’s been in college, and yet still found some way to record & promote her initial recordings, to call themselves “D.I.Y”. Certainly when it comes to promoting her music, no one has helped Allison Weiss but herself. But if your family creates an environment that allows you to do spend all your free time promoting your music, can you really say it's D.I.Y.?

You can say it. But if you don't bother mentioning all the advantages and resources that other people gave you, that actually allow you to do all these things in the first place, then you're either being naive or you're allowing a lot of other people who might share the same dreams as you to feel a little less good about themselves because they're not able to work as hard as you do. When anyone knows that working 25-plus hours a week while you're in college, or 40+ hours a week if you're not in college, at some job you hate is a hell of a lot more "D.I.Y." than spending your free-time galavanting around the country doing something you love while someone from home pays your rent.

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As an artist, Allison Weiss sure is good at marketing herself.

In the interests of rebuttal, here’s a link to a recent interview with Ms. Weiss. (www.grassrootsy.wordpress.com/2009/09/02/an-interview-with-allison-weiss/)