"You Are Forgiven" (#1 in a series) - Phil Collins

For my money, the 80's didn't produce a better white balding soul singer from England than Phil Collins. Can't call it 'blue-eyed soul,' Phil's constant squinting makes it impossible to tell what color his eyes are.



A lot of people in the 80's tried to rip-off Prince. This was as good as any of them.

When Philip Bailey tried to start his post Earth Wind & Fire solo career, who did he call? That's right. Mr. Phil 'Soul Man' Collins. To Phil's credit, he comes off better than George Michael did in his duet with Aretha Franklin.



Sure, Phil could bring the funk, the R & B, but what about the ballads? I submit Phil's own 'Try a Little Tenderness,' the song 'One More Night.'



It takes real guts to pull off a song like this, one that essentially says hey baby, I know you're going to leave me, and although I'm sad, I guess I'm able to accept that. But I'd feel even better about it, in fact I'd feel totally 100% okay, if we just spent this one last night together.

A desperate plea, you say? A pathetic tossing away of one's dignity? Perhaps, but maybe Phil has a trick up his sleeve. Maybe Phil's thinking to himself, Man if I could just fuck her one last time, fuck her all crazy until she comes like seven times and is a drooling twitching pile of post-orgasmic mess, then I bet she wouldn't leave me. And if you listen closely, Phil knows he can do this. Knows he's been holding back just a little, teasing his mysterious, mercurial partner, waiting for this moment (dare I say it) for all his life, oh lord.

Funny thing about Phil Collins love songs. It's always about a girl (presumably) who's either left him or is about to leave him. No macho Led Zeppelin, or Guns N Roses posturing for our Phil. Or maybe he did write a song one time, one of those 'Babe get the fuck out of my house, see you later' type songs, and his manager pulled out a mirror and said, 'Seriously, Phil. Look at yourself. Nobody's going to believe that shit. Stick with the sad loser thing.' Stranger things have happened.

Phil played drums on Brian Eno's 'Another Green World.' This song shows he was at least paying attention. 

And we haven't even mentioned 'Don't Lose My Number,' the finest top-ten plea to a gay teenage runaway ever written. We didn't mention Genesis. We didn't mention THAT drum fill. We didn't mention his appearance in A Hard Day's Night. Or his scene-stealing performance on Miami Vice. The man played drums on 'Do We Know It's Christmas?' He brought Holland-Dozier-Holland out of retirement to write his hit single 'Two Hearts.' He also helped John Martyn record an album. He produced the only decent record by an ex-member of Abba. Jesus Christ, people what more do you want from the guy? Phil Collins. Is. Forgiven.

Not that he ever gave a fuck what you thought anyway.